Thursday, December 29, 2005

The Evil Cable Downgrade

I recently made a bold decision to get rid of digital cable (and the super-duper-every-channel package) in favor of just plain old basic cable. In consequence of that decision, today I get to experience one of the fun little frustrations of modern life: waiting for the cable guy to come during some arbitrary time block picked by the evil cable company.

His task is an arduous one for which I'm sure he must have been specially trained. He must retrieve the sacred digital box and the holy remote control. He must then carefully present me with paperwork. For this service, the cable company will be handsomely rewarded with $15 from my bank account. That's right - I have to pay them to send out an installer (or would that be "uninstaller"?) to pick up a box that I would have happily returned to them myself if they would only let me. What a rip off! But then, who could ever accuse a telecommunications company of being reasonable?

Our decision to downgrade really raised the ire of my daughter, who commented on it in her blog today. Her comments bring up several interesting points.

First, the cable companies are, in fact, evil. They have a monopolistic choke-hold on the programming, and along with the Satellite companies (if you even have that option) they are flexing that monopoly to force their customers to buy more expensive programming packages than they want or need. I mean really, why should I have to pay for 160 channels just to get 5 that I might watch? Why can't I just pay for the channels I want? (Incidentally, those would be CNN, Comedy Central, the History Channel, the Discovery Channel, and HBO [if only for The Sopranos and Rome].)

Maybe if they didn't force me to take all those channels just to get a handful of shows, my bill wouldn't be $130 a month. But then, that's the whole point of their programming model. By downgrading, I'll be saving $65 a month (I'm keeping the broadband) - that's $780 a year! I can think of a lot better things to do with that money than pay for a signal I only watch 20 minutes a day over my morning coffee; which brings me to my next point.

I've noticed since I've been home from Philadelphia that we really don't watch much TV anyway. In point of fact, that's not a bad thing. In the United States, an awful lot of time is wasted in front of the "idiot box". Unfortunately, it has become ingrained in our culture, but apart from the time that wasted, I prefer not to have my opinion spoon-fed to me like pablum.

Once, when I was a child, we lived in a very remote little town in Montana where we didn't even get a TV signal. Our only telephone was on a party line that we shared with 6 other families (picture 7 families all wired to the same phone line) . Perhaps unsurprisingly, there was no cable TV in town, and this was before advent of Digital Satellite systems. The net result? When Christmas came, we didn't really know what to ask for. I think I wanted a pair of gloves or something that year. We simply hadn't been bombarded with advertising to tell us what we wanted.

So to my daughter and the evil cable company I say, "Life with less TV will be a good thing."

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

More Protection

Here's an update to my last post: 5 minutes after posting it, I managed to trip the Web filter again! This time it fell into the "Violence" category.

I guess I'm a slow learner, because it was another Snopes page that did it. The problem is that I have the Snopes RSS feed on my Google Homepage, and when I see an update, I want to read it.

Protect Me from Me

I started work for a new client last week. (I should point out that while I’m new to this contract, my employer has been providing staff to this client for years.) This particular client is an exceptionally large company -- I won’t say which company, because it really doesn’t matter. Experience tells me that all large companies are prone to the same aggravations, hazards, and politics. Indeed, as the following chart illustrates, the amount of politics and other nonsense grows exponentially with the size of the company:



Notwithstanding the increased requirements for political correctness, the excessive corporate policies, and the other frustrations that go with working for a large company, I’ll say that the first week or two on any programming job is generally the pits. The first week is usually spent painfully installing and configuring development tools, trying to learn where everything is, and pouring over documentation so boring it makes reading congressional appropriation reports seem thrilling by comparison.

This contract is no exception. What is exceptional is that I managed to trip the Network Monitor on the proxy server on my very first day. (Technically, it was my 3rd day, but since it took them 2 days to get my network login to work, it was my first day on their network.)

I was busy going about the business of configuring my machine, which for me, involves installing Firefox along with a few of my favorite extensions. One of these extensions is for BugMeNot. (If you’re not familiar with BugMeNot, you should go visit the site right now! Essentially, they provide a publicly maintained database of login information for Websites with compulsory registration, and they have a really cool extension for Firefox.)

So I navigate to the BugMeNot site, and what happens? I get this nastly little message from the proxy server telling the world what a naughty boy I've been:


Shame on me! How dare I try to safeguard my privacy! It's a good thing that proxy server was there to protect me. Otherwise, who knows what might have happened? Why, I might have actually avoided using my real email address to read an article from the New York Times! Scandalous!

At first, I was baffled that BugMeNot would be blocked. I thought about it for a bit, and then conceded that since BugMeNot is essentially password sharing, it's not entirely unreasonable to put it in the "Hacking" category if you follow the absolute letter of the law (forget about the spririt of the law, though). Since this company obviously has the "hacking" category checked in their Web filter criteria, that means no BugMeNot.

Armed with a better understanding that Big Brother is watching, I resolved to be more careful with my surfing habits at work. And then... I tripped the monitor again the very next day. This time it was for "Adult Content". What was the this offensive content? What lurid, depraved, Website was I trying to visit using this company's network? It was a page on Snopes (another must-read site that addresses urban legends). I give up.

The problem, I believe, is that we have become such a litigious society that large companies have to take steps to protect themselves, if only to show due dilligence. It's unfortunate, and also a slippery slope. Once a company asserts that it is responsible for some content by censoring it, it becomes legally liable for all content. This in turn forces these companies to become even more restrictive.

I find the whole thing offensive. Maybe I should sue.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Gratuity or Fee?

At the risk of stating the obvious, I'd just like to point something out to the food service industry that they apparently do not understand. If, at the end of my meal, I choose to give you something extra for a job well done, it is a "gratuity". If you add extra without asking (e.g. "15% added for parties larger than 6 people") it is no longer a gratuity. That's called a fee. (In the spirit of disclosure I should point out that I've waited my fair share of tables, and I did it with a smile.)

If you give yourself a fee because you're worried that I won't give you a large enough gratuity, in my opinion, you deserve neither fee nor gratuity. Also, you're probably missing a bet. I would almost always leave a larger tip than the "mandatory gratuity" fee that some restaurants rudely put on my bill. So, in that respect, I thank you. You save me a little money each time you illustrate your ignorance by adding a fee and calling it a gratuity.

Maybe we should call that difference in compensation an "ignorance tax"? Then, when restaurants have those stupid little policies, I can tell them mine in return: "An ignorance tax of 5 to 10 percent will be assessed against all wait staff who opt for the service fee in lieu of a gratuity."

Hating Harry Potter

It's no secret: I really don't like that little bastard Harry Potter.

I'm sure someone will be appalled at this notion, and that irritates me even more. It's always difficult to hold an unpopular opinion, and hating Harry Potter is no exception. I might as well be declaring war on the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus; the general public reaction is the same: I'm either a bad guy, or an idiot (some would say both).

I tried liking Harry Potter, I really did. I'll go so far as to say I wanted to like him. I mean really, what's not to like about a young man who is clearly a "good guy" and is training to be a Wizard? Harry Potter makes an almost ideal protagonist for the masses.

What JK Rawlings misses in her story telling, however, is common sense. Yes, I know that Harry Potter is supposed to be a children's story. Still, I find the movies annoying to say the least, and I couldn't even make it through the first few chapters of the book.

We're expected to believe that Harry is some sort of prodigy, yet he stumbles and bumbles around nearly getting himself and those around him killed time after time. In this sense, I find Rawlings much kinder than Darwin -- a little too kind, in fact.

Sometimes, you have to choose the lesser of two evils. I found myself in that old conundrum yesterday when, as part of a plea bargain with my wife and daughter, I agreed to watch the third in what seems an endless supply of Potter movies, "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban". (For the record, I note that I did so under duress only as a way to avoid watching Napoleon Dynamite, a movie I hate worse even than Harry Potter, but that's a story for another post.)

Although I found the third movie predictable, childish, and moderately annoying, I don't think it was quite so offensive as the first, which, incidentally, left me begging to have bamboo shoved under my fingernails as a distraction from that torturous drivel with a British accent. So my hat goes off to the director -- improvement is improvement whether you go from good to great, or from excruciating to only painful.

In the meanwhile, I think the Harry Potter series is running out of steam, and I'll only have to weather this storm for another movie or two. That punk will grow up one day, and when he does, they probably will not make a movie about the wretched alcoholic who failed as a Wizard but was supposed to be become something great one day. That would be too much like real life.

Back in the Saddle

Writing blog entries is a lot like writing code, and the analogy that I make for writing code is that it’s a lot like writing poetry: you can force yourself to do it, but it’s always better when it flows.

Sometimes, you just don’t feel like writing. I’ve personally noticed that I feel a lot less like writing this time of year. In fact, I feel a lot less like doing anything. Some would call it “Holiday Blues”, others might point to the lower levels of sunlight in the winter months, but at the end of the day it all means the same thing: December is one depressing month. Fortunately, December is wrapping up, the holidays are over, and the days are getting longer again.

These things in mind, I hope to post more blog entries in the near future, starting with cleaning out all those draft entries I boasted of in an earlier post. Don’t expect to see them all, though. The posts that have gone stale (e.g. those entries that are no longer germane because too much time has now elapsed) will find their way into garbage can where they belong.

Some interesting recent personal events that I may or may not blog about:

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Getting Drafty

Those who read my blog regularly have probably noticed that I've been severely negligent in posting new material lately. Like everybody else, I'm occasionally susceptible to becoming a little more busy with life than normal. Unfortunately, blogging is usually one of the first tasks from which I borrow time for other things when I need it.

If you're frustrated, take heart: there are good things coming. I just counted, and I have a total of 12 messages sitting in "draft" (13 if you count this one, which you shouldn't, because if you're reading it, it's no longer a draft copy).

When I have an idea for a blog post, but not enough time to write it, I'll usually start the post and save it as a draft. Sometimes, I'll spend several days working on a post before I think it's ready for prime time. Others times, I'll sit down, write the whole thing, and publish it -- all in one fail swoop.

Here are some of the topics I currently have sitting in draft:
  • State Farm Bullies (this one is about trademark infringement, in case you're wondering)
  • Gratuity or Fee?
  • Not Affiliated
  • Patriotism
  • You People Still Disgust Me
  • Making an Impact
  • Cool Watch
  • Dell Flaming Out
  • Comparisons
  • Annual Trek
  • Negligent Homicide
  • Why I Hate Harry Potter
Some of these topics are self-explanatory, others could mean anything. You'll just have to wait and see what they're about. (I hope I've piqued your interest enough to come back and see.) I'll do my best to post these items over the next few days as I have time to work on them.