An Open Letter to My Daughter

Dear [Daddy's Girl],

We spoke with your guidance counselor at school today, and although report cards don't officially come home until tomorrow, she confirmed what we suspected: you got perfect straight-A's. I cannot even begin to express how proud you make me.

I realize that you're taking advanced (GT) classes, and that you're even getting High School credit for some of your courses. To my way of thinking, that makes your 4.0 G.P.A. even more significant.

Although you may find this hard to believe, I can remember what it was to be 14. I know all too well the social pressures teens place on one another, and how frustrating it can be when you're no longer a child, but not quite an adult. That you're able to effectively manage those pressures and grab your own piece of success fills me with tremendous pride, and a certain sense of relief. I also think it foreshadows wonderful things in your future.

As you go forward, I'd like you to keep a few things in mind. Perhaps most importantly is that with precious few exceptions, the real value in education is not necessarily the material you learn. I'll let you in on a little secret: you really won't have to do any algebra when you're an adult. What's more, you'll probably never have to make anything out of poster board unless you're helping your own children with their silly little assignments.

No, the true value of education is not in the facts that you learn, but in the problem-solving skills that the learning process teaches you. It may sound cliche, but what school really teaches you is how to learn, how to seek new information, how to figure out which questions to ask, how to follow somebody else's rules - no matter how silly they might seem, and perhaps most importantly, how to make the most of any situation. These are the skills that are important for life, and proficiency in them is measured by the grades you receive. That you received perfect grades tells me that you've learned how to play the game we call life.

People often feel proud of their children because they believe they are directly responsible for any outstanding results. The simple truth, however, is that there are no schools to teach someone how to be a good parent. Figuring out what works and what doesn't is largely a question of trial and error.

With that in mind, it probably won't surprise to you find out that your father was a little nervous at the prospect of becoming a parent. Then, on the day you were born, I saw a sign hanging on the wall in the maternity ward. I don't remember the exact verbiage, but the message was clear: "If you're nervous because you've never had a baby before, don't worry - your baby has never had a parent before, either!"

While I would happily take credit for all of your successes, I don't think that would be fair. Was it that I taught you valuable life skills that are now key to your success, or was it more likely that you taught me how to be the parent you needed? Indeed, you broke nearly all my preconceived notions of parenting. For example, when you were little, I never really had to spank you. A stern look was all it took for you to understand my disappointment, and you always immediately corrected your behavior. It seemed that disappointing your father was more painful to you than any corporal punishment could have been.

Regardless of why you're successful, the simple truth is that you are, and I'm very proud of you. Keep up the great work!

Love Always,

Dad