Writing is Essential

I've come to the conclusion that writing is perhaps the single most important skill one can master. That may sound odd, but think about it for a moment.

If you can write well, people will assume you are smart and qualified (even if you're not). The reverse is also true: if you cannot concisely articulate your ideas, no matter how ingenious those ideas may be, people will discount them and assume you are less intelligent.
Some people have a difficult time putting pen to paper. I chuckle every time I think about a comment someone once made to my mother. He said, "I can read writing, but I can't write reading.'" I suspect a lot of people feel that way about their own skills.

I am very fortunate in that writing seems to come naturally to me. Nevertheless, there are some things that I think have helped improve my own writing. I thought I'd share them.

Practice
Writing is a skill, and like any skill, it will improve with experience. If you push yourself a little, you'll find that the more you write, the better you get. Indeed, one of the primary reasons I started blogging two years ago was to give me a reason to practice my writing. Looking back, I think my writing has improved since my original post.

Stretch Your Vocabulary
According to one study, the average 12^th-grade student comprehends between 60,000 and 100,000 words. Unfortunately, most people only use 5,000 or 6,000 words in their own speech. I've seen other studies that statistically paint the same picture, but in this context the meaning is the same: people understand more words than they actively use.

For a writer, this means you have a library of some 80,000 words (on average) that are available for you to use in your writing without becoming overly verbose. These words add flavor and detail; they describe subtle nuances that would otherwise be unknown to your reader. Why constrain yourself to less than 10 percent of that?

I find that as I write, words often come to mind that appear to be appropriate for what I am describing. When I'm not sure, I look them up. Sometimes I find that my initial instinct was correct. Other times, I find that I was wrong about what I thought the word meant. In either case, the process of looking up the definition cements the word as part of my usable vocabulary. Also, never underestimate the power of a good thesaurus when you can't seem to find that perfect word to describe your topic.

Read
Writing is more than just the mechanics of grammar and syntax. To be effective, writing also has to have style and flow. Reading things that other people write can help you define your own style, and assist you with intuitively determining a flow. To be a good writer, first you have to be a good reader.

Review
I haven't written a sentence yet that didn't benefit from a good proof-read. Or a second, or a third proof-read for that matter. When I finish writing anything, I always go back (usually several times) and review it. Sometimes I focus in on one particular section, but I always finish by reading the whole thing from start to finish so I can verify that it flows nicely.

Consider Your Audience
I think it helps to visual the type of person who will read your writing. Are you writing a technical paper, a human interest story, or something you think children will read? Are you trying to write more formally, or more casually? Is humor appropriate?

Avoid Profanity and Slang
I'll be the first to admit that having spent 7 years in the Army, I can swear with the best of them. Try to keep in mind that there are very few venues in which written vulgarities are appropriate. Again, the idea is to leave a favorable impression. If you use excessive obscenities in your writing, people will draw the conclusion that you have a narrow grasp of written English. From there, it isn't much of a stretch to conclude that you are less intelligent.

Have Fun
I sometimes chuckle when I come up with something I think is really witty. To be honest, I think I'm tickled as much by the thought of someone else enjoying it as I am with my own originally quip. As you write, imagine the reaction your readers will have, and try to have a little fun with it.

If you want practice writing, you can start by leaving a comment. I may not respond to every comment, but I do read all of them.

Allowance Formula

My daughter and I have been trying to come up with a fair method to determine how much allowance to pay each child. I wanted something that would reward good behavior, punish bad behavior, and recognize that as children get older, they need more money (a painful fact of life for parents). What I came up with is this:

his or her age
times the number of A's on his or her last report card
times 1.5
divided by (the number of times he or she was punished last month + 2)

or more plainly: 1.5 * age * grades / (punished + 2)

So the formula would be: 1.5ag / (p + 2)

Which means, for example, if you're 15, you got 6 A's on your last report card, and have not been in trouble, you'd get $67.50 a month ($16 a week). If you're 14, got 3 A's, and were punished twice in the last month, you would only get $15.75 for the month ($4 a week).

Obviously, the multipliers can be adjusted to suit any economic status or expectation, but I think that by and large, this formula will do the trick.

I'm Back, Baby!

Well, it's been 8 months with no posts. A lot of things can change in 8 months, and it has been a wild ride.

That new job I wrote about didn't work out. In fact, about a month after I took it, I decided to go back to the place I worked before taking it (and incidentally, had an offer on the table from that employer) but I allowed myself to be talked into staying. (Note to self: don't play poker with any salesmen.)

Actually, I contemplated a witty title for a post that would address my work woes: "Jobs that Sux Redux". While careful avoiding any libel or slander, I will say that I wish that company well, and if they happen to succeed, it will be despite their business practices - not because of them. Of course, that shouldn't be too surprising when you have a 27-year-old CEO with a degree in theology and no business experience. Enough said.

These days I'm putting in my time as Director of Web Development for a company that really is quite good. I've been here several months, which in my experience is long enough to know whether or not I like it. I predict I'm going to settle down and be here for a while.

Perhaps more significantly, Chantay decided to part company with me. We are keeping things as amicable as possible under the circumstances, which is always a good thing. Although I now wince a little when I think of some of the things I said in this blog over the past few years, I don't believe in rewriting history; therefore I do not intend to delete any of posts that discuss her. The immutable truth is that each of those posts was an accurate reflection of my feelings at the time. Whether or not we still feel that way is irrelevant.

She is now going her way, and I am going mine. I couldn't tell you where her path leads, but I sincerely hope she is happy & safe, and ultimately finds whatever it is she's looking for.

The road ahead for me includes a 2-week vacation to take a cruise through the eastern Mediterranean. My flight leaves on Sunday, and I'm extremely excited. After several months as a single parent, I sorely need the time away. (I'll write more about the cruise later.)

Both of my children now live with me (my son is now 13, and my daughter is 15). I could probably write a novel on how that came to be, but it is a story for another day.

For now, check on me from time to time and you may be surprised. Since I'm feeling like my old self again, I'm bound to have the same rants, quirky observations, and comical whines.

Citizenship Test

While reading the news this morning, I happened upon an example citizenship test at MSNBC. Always one to test my knowledge against the status quo, I decided to take the test just to see how much I know. Here's how it worked out:

Sadly, most native-born Americans perform quite poorly on these tests. Even more frighteningly, those same people vote. That got me thinking (always a dangerous prospect).

We make people take a test before we allow them the privilege of driving. Indeed, most professional career fields require some tested proof of proficiency in the field before one is allowed to practice the trade. Why not require voters to demonstrate a basic knowledge of our system of government as part of the voter registration process?

Pundits will point out that such a system would unfairly burden the poorly educated, those who speak English as a second language, and the mentally "challenged". To those pundits I say this: why unfairly burden the entire nation with ill-informed decision making in the voting booth? Wouldn't the whole world be a little better off if the most powerful nation did a better job of selecting leadership?

Frankly, I think choosing the person who will have the power to change the world is a bit more important than unplugging my toilet. I admit there is a key difference, though. My plumber has to take a test and get a license before he wades into the excrement. Voters do not.

Ed Goes Audio

Okay -- as you may have noticed, there's an audio message embedded above (I'm not sure how that will work out with different RSS readers, so I'm sort of playing it by ear for now).

Apparently, this company has partnered with Google to provide audio blog entries, and so far, it seems pretty cool. From the blogger's point of view, I simply call their number, enter my number and PIN, and record my message. It publishes my message to my blog automatically, which means that blogging just got a lot easier.

As I point out in my audio post, I have no idea what their business model will be (how can you drive revenue when you provide a free service?) but so far, it's pretty exciting.

Weekend Woes

I've had some craptacular weekends in my day, but in that respect, this weekend seems exceptional. Perhaps it goes without saying that you don't spend nearly 7 years in the Army without a blown weekend or two, but even at that I'd have to place this weekend on par with spending some quality time with an IRS auditor in terms of frustration.

First, my wife left for a business trip to New York on Thursday, and she wasn't scheduled to return until Saturday morning. So the weekend lead-in is a little shot -- no biggie, right? She ended up going straight from the airport to her office on Saturday, and basically working a full day. I did get to have dinner with her on Saturday night, though, and it's a good thing, too, because she left for work again on Sunday morning and ended up working straight through until she got home this morning circa 5:30AM.

Now, I try to be understanding when these things happen (I've certainly spent my fair share of time working late). That said, because I'm also in Software Development , there are times when I can't help but feel like some of this stuff falls under the 7 P's. You know: Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

So I was a bit agitated at not being able to spend a little quality time with the little lady, but I was doing okay with it (sort of -- depending on who you ask). I was managing the increased burden in the form of laundry and chores that most husbands (present company included) balk at. Then, last night, some fun things happened (and I mean the same sort of fun as having a rectal exam by an NBA allstar).

First, the cable went out. I'm not married to TV, so it doesn't seem like a big deal until you realize that with the cable goes the Internet. Okay, no sweat. I'm a man of the new millennium, so I'm just going to rotate that last load of laundry, and then head for the hay. A nice early bedtime is just what I need to get me on track for work on Monday.

I kiss my son good night, and begin my "nighttime maneuver" (this involves stripping down and jumping for the bed so the last of my clothes hit the floor about the same time I'm between the sheets -- hey, I said I was a man of the new millennium...). About midway through the process I notice a big wet spot on the bed.

At first, I think I'm about to relieve some stress with a good old-fashioned cat beating. Then I realize that unless my cat has somehow learned how to stick to the ceiling like a fly, that drip-drip-drip doesn't have feline origins. The damned roof is leaking!

Yes, I realize that roofs sometimes leak. To fully appreciate my frustration, however, you need to understand that since I renewed my lease in April, my air conditioner has broken three times (and each time it rains water into my dining room), and I haven't had the greatest luck with maintenance (which is a blog post in itself). Indeed, they came into my house a few weeks ago without any notice, and without leaving a note, and left my daughter's window all the way open (nice of me to cool the entire neighborhood -- hello electricity bill from hell). It was 10 hours before I got home to close it, and it rained pretty bad, so her floor was soaked. Ironically, maintenance had just removed a big noisy (and no doubt electricity sucking) dehumidifier that they placed after the last air conditioning fiasco.

These things in mind, I think you'll agree that my weekend wasn't so great. There is an up side, though. The best thing about having a lousy weekend is watching the expressions on the faces of the Monday morning busy-bodies in the office. "How was your weekend?" they ask with an all-too-saccharine smile. "It sucked." I tell them, all the while feeling a bit better as I amuse myself with their startled expressions. Maybe there's just a little streak of sadism in me after all.

Time Marches On

Time stands still for no man. It's been a busy 3½ months since my last post, and it occurs to me that I really need to dedicate more time to my blogs. I am now faced with the very daunting question of how to get back in the proverbial saddle with my writing.

I suppose I could start by pointing out the obvious: it's been a very busy three months indeed -- both for me personally, and in the world at large. Among other interesting changes, I accepted a position as the Director of Software Development for a litigation support company in Washington, DC. That being the case, it also seems appropriate to inject the standard caveat: any opinions I express here are entirely my own, and may not accurately reflect the views of my employer or coworkers.

I would also like to point out that, while it's true that most people change jobs because they are not happy, that was not the case here. No, you won't find this move chronicled in any future Jobs that Suck post. In this case, it came down to a simple question of opportunity. While I was treated well by my former employer (and have an invitation to return), here I have the chance to really build something. Call me naive, but I still think I can change the world.

Now that I've cautiously dipped my toe back into the blogging waters and I can see the temperature is fine, I think I'll be more comfortable diving back in. Watch for more rants, raves, and quips in the near future!

Catch Up

It's hard to believe it's been two weeks since the last time I posted. Perhaps unsurprisingly, there have been several "blogworthy" events during this time period.

First, if you're considering taking a cruise, I would not recommend Carnival. Although I could (and probably will) dedicate an entire blog post to this topic, for now I'll simply say that you'd be better off going with another cruise line. You can watch for complete details on entire sordid event on a new Website I created, aptly titled Cruise Horrors. Also, I'd appreciate any Google juice my fellow bloggers can spare.

Also over the past two weeks, the Bush administration has continued to provide a steady diet of interesting blunders for the blogging community to feast upon. I may post my opinion on a topic or two in the near future if it strikes my fancy.

Finally, for those who read my blog on a regular basis, let me say thank you. The feedback I get always brightens my day, and it's a lot easier to write when you know someone is going to read it.

Katrina Pity Party

CNN ran a segment this morning about a family who was displaced by Hurricane Katrina. It was a boiler plate human interest bit, complete with emotional scenes designed to invoke empathy in even the most stone-hearted viewer. Except it didn't work -- at least not on me.

I'm sick and tired of hearing the Katrina sob stories. There are a few simple truths about the situation that seem to have escaped the media, so I'll point them out here.

First, New Orleans is below the water line. When you build below the water, you accept a certain risk. Period. There is a reason why the insurance companies won't give you flood insurance -- the risks are too great.

It used to make me angry when people would live in the Mississippi flood plain and expect FEMA to bail them out year after year (pun intended). Why, I wondered, would people continue to move back in when they knew damn good and well it was going to flood again? Because they also knew FEMA would bail them out again, and they would get a new house and new stuff. They had plenty of incentive to stay, and none to leave.

Now take a look at this cross-section of New Orleans prepared by the Army Corps of Engineers. Notice anything peculiar?

Cross-section of New Orleans ground elevations.
(United States Army Corps of Engineers)

The whole damned city is under the water line!

As reported by the Washington Post in January, FEMA is now paying rental assistance to 685,635 families who were displaced by either Katrina or Rita.

President Bush is reportedly now seeking another $19.8 billion for the Katrina efforts. This is on top of the $10.5 billion approved in September, which was in addition to FEMA's normal budget for these types of things. So what we're really talking about is an additional $30.3 billion beyond normal budget.

At $30.3 billion, that works out to $44,192 for each household displaced by the storm. Since the cost of living can vary widely from place to place, you should note that the 2000 census recorded the per capita income for New Orleans as $17,258. That means that we're spending more than two and a half times the per capita income for each displaced family!

Okay, so we're blowing a wad of money. What does it mean to you? How about this: going by GAO estimates, that comes out to about $568 per taxpayer in the United States. For my family, that means this nonsense is costing me $1,136. There are a lot of things I could do with $1,136 that don't involve enabling people to get flooded again.

This money must be important, though. I'm sure these people are spending it wisely, right? Wrong. The GAO recently conducted several investigations into abuses. I'm sure everyone has heard the stories about FEMA debit cards being used for strip clubs, expensive purses, jewelry, and even a tattoo. We also know about people fraudulently receiving these cards. What I want to know is why isn't there more outrage about this?

Another thing that really boils my blood is the number of people who are now pulling an Oliver Twist. ("Please, sir, I want some more.") It has been nearly 6 months since Katrina. Six months is plenty of time rebuild your life.

In six months, you can start over from scratch with absolutely nothing, and build a decent little life for yourself. I know, because I've done it. Twice. All it takes is something a lot of these people know nothing about: hard work.

Living in the Moment

When I was a child, I once hypothesized to my mom that perhaps physical incarnation is static, and the human conscience merely passes from static moment to static moment. "If that's true", she told me, "then tomorrow's Ed is living in Las Vegas."

It turns out that tomorrow's Ed (which is now 20 years ago's Ed) didn't end up in Vegas until much later, but that's another story.

If you're having a hard time visualizing what I'm talking about, think of it like one of those little cartoon flip books -- each moment is fixed, and the only thing that changes is the page you're viewing. Collectively, moving from moment to moment in a flip book yields animation. Philosophically, your conscience moving from moment to moment equates to life.

If my original hypothesis is true, then arguably all time exist continuously in parallel -- past, present, and future. My body from 10 minutes ago is still eating a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich, while my conscience has moved on to the Ed that is writing this blog post. It's a tough concept to wrap your mind around, but it's quite fascinating if you can.

Anyone who has ever procrastinated can appreciate a small bit of this concept. How many times have you said "I'll worry about that later", and then when later comes, you're angry at yourself? How many times have regretted something you did earlier, or been grateful that "at least I didn't 'xyz'"? (Insert whatever is appropriate for "xyz".)

What will people think of this post? Will they think I'm crazy? Who cares? That's Tomorrow Ed's problem!

Shut Up and Be Quiet

I received an email from an old friend today. It was one of those classic forwarded messages that makes the rounds (I get these all the time). Normally, I simply deposit them neatly into the trash. This time, I decided to respond.

The original message read:

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!

I was asked to send this on if I agree or delete if I don't.

It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God.

Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having "In God! We Trust" on our money and having "God" in the Pledge of Allegiance.

Why don't we just tell the 14% to Shut Up and BE QUIET!!!

If you agree, pass this on, if not delete.

I AGREE !!!!

"God Bless America."

I carefully wrote a reply to all of the original recipients, and BCC'd everyone to protect their privacy. Here's what I had to say about it:

Why is it always so much easier to appeal to emotion rather than logic and reason?

If you're receiving this email, it's because you were included in the same original distribution that I was, or that I've added you because I thought you might take an interest and might want to pass this along. In any event, I've removed everybody's original email addresses and blind copied everyone in order to protect privacy.

If you didn't receive the original message, you may want to scroll to the end and read it before you continue. Suffice to say it was an inflammatory bit about the phrases "under God" and "in God we trust" that will no doubt enrage and incite people based upon emotional reaction. With this email, I seek to use logic and reasoning. If you're a bigot, a zealot, or just plain stupid, you might as well not read any further. You won't be able to comprehend the message anyway.

If, on the other hand, you want to know facts rather than conjecture, please read on, and let us begin our journey. You may not agree with my side of the issue, but at the end of this email, I promise you'll have a better understanding of the facts.

By now you may have realized that I respectfully disagree with the original author who so elegantly asserted, " Why don't we just tell the 14% to Shut Up and BE QUIET!!!" That said, I expect his or her viewpoint would be quite revered and admired in places like Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Palestine and Iran, whom all impose a state-sponsored religion. Nevertheless, since we're speaking of the United States, I'll limit my commentary to the issues here at home -- specifically, the original author's revulsion at the prospect of removing phrases that refer to God from the pledge and our national currency.

Arguments in favor of references to God range from academic ("we're preserving history") to belligerence ("we're a Christian nation so deal with it"). Unfortunately, statements made in support of these arguments are most often factually incorrect.

It is worth noting that the Pledge of Allegiance, originally written by Francis Bellamy in 1892, did not contain the phrase "under God". That phrase was added by Congress in 1954 after heavy lobbying by the Knights of Columbus during a time when professing a belief in a supreme being was synonymous with denouncing communism. (Full history of the pledge here: http://history.vineyard.net/pledge.htm) Thus, the historical argument is not valid -- at least in the case of the pledge. But what about the national motto?

Our national motto, as written by the framers (or "founding fathers", if you prefer), was the Latin phrase "E Pluribus Unum", which translates to "One from many" or "One from many parts". Unquestionably, "E Pluribus Unum" was a uniting phrase designed to showcase one of the strengths of America. As such, it accurately reflects the inclusive nature of our great country. This motto stood for almost 175 years until on July 30th, 1956, during the height of the Cold War and the McCarthy "communist witch hunt", the motto was changed to its current form: "In God We Trust". With one stroke of the pen, we undid more than a hundred years of history, ergo the historic preservation argument does not hold water for the national motto either. (Full history of the national motto here: http://www.religioustolerance.org/nat_mott.htm )

As for the religious majority cited by the original author, the exact numbers are relatively easy to find. Perhaps unsurprisingly, as of 2001, 76.5% of Americans self-identified their religious beliefs as falling under the umbrella of Christianity. The next highest category, with 13.2% was "Nonreligious/Secular". Judaism was third with 1.3%, and every other category gleaned less than 1%. (Source: http://www.adherents.com/rel_USA.html )

The latest study on the topic of religion's role in the United States, however, was published by The Pew Research Center in 2002 (complete study here: http://pewforum.org/publications/reports/poll2002.pdf).

Interestingly, even given the undeniably large majority enjoyed by Christianity, when asked "Can you be a good American without Religious faith?" fully 84% of the respondents said yes. Similarly, when asked "[Is] belief in God needed to be moral?" only 47% answered yes.

Thus, most Americans generally do not believe that professing a belief in "God" is a litmus test for patriotism, being a "good American", or even being moral.

Another thing I would point out is that the framers had ample opportunity to include references to God in the documents they drafted. It may surprise you to learn that the word "God" never appears in the United States Constitution - not in the original text, not in the Bill of Rights (the first 10 amendments), and not in any other amendment.

The closest the framers came to including God was in the Declaration of Independence. Everyone is familiar with the phrase "...endowed by their Creator...", which is remarkably neutral, but the word "God" actually does appear in the text. That states, even in the one instance when the word "God" was explicitly used, our framers did so tenuously, writing the phrase "...equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them,...".

Now, I'm neither a Theologian nor a Historian, but it seems to me that if our forefathers had intended this to be a "Christian Nation", they would have been a bit more explicit about it. What they intended, I believe, is to live and let live, and part of that means not telling a large segment of the population to simply "SHUT UP AND BE QUIET!!!" when you don't agree with them.

As for "why there is such a problem in having 'In God! We Trust' on our money and having 'God' in the Pledge of Allegiance" I would simply question why the original author thinks they should be there. Furthermore, would he or she tolerate professions of other religious viewpoints in public schools or on public currency? Would this author see a problem with "one nation under Goddess"? Would that be offensive to the author? How about you? Do you find that offensive? What about "one nation under No god"?

The whole point is that our government should neither be in the business of endorsing nor disclaiming religion.

Auctioning God

I had just responded to an email on the topic of religion today when I got to thinking. If I Googled for God, what would be the first site to come up? I decided to find out.

The search results themselves (totaling 480 million) were much as expected. Closer examination, however, revealed a wonderful little glitch with the Ad Sense algorithm. The top sponsored ad was for Ebay, with an ad that read "Looking for God? Find exactly what you want today www.eBay.com".

I never thought an online auction could be a religious experience.

Horrible Superbowl Performance

Am I the only one who noticed a horrible performance at the Superbowl yesterday? No, I'm not talking about the Sea Hawks, who lost to the Steelers. The disgusting display I speak of was the halftime show put on by the Rolling Stones.

Frankly, I found it a bit less entertaining than adding Exlax to the Metamucil in a Geriatric Ward, although I think the dancing and writhing displayed would be about on par with the resulting rush to the bathroom.

I was rather looking forward to seeing someone mention what an abysmal job they did, but this morning some idiot on CNN was raving about what a great performance it was. Come on, people! Am I the only one who can see that ship sailed 20 years ago? Frankly, I found it pathetic.

Comments, anyone?

GM Should Eat Its Own Dog Food

"Buy American." That's what U.S. car manufacturers have been telling us for years. "Ignore the price tag, the rapid depreciation, and the inferior quality, and support the good ol' U.S. of A! Keep those dollars in the country! Save American jobs!"

Outwardly, these companies appeal to our sense of patriotism. Inside the company, however, there seems to be a drastically different attitude. A glimpse of that attitude came to light today when General Motors announced that it will spend about $15 billion over the next 5 years outsourcing its Information Technology work.

Arguably, a generous portion of that work will continue to be done by Americans. Eight hundred million of those bucks (that's $800,000,000, or eight tenths of a billion dollars), however will go to two foreign companies: Cap Gemini, and Wipro.

Wipro Technologies, India's 3rd largest software exporter whose Website title reads "Offshore Outsourcing | IT Services", will get a $300 million piece of the pie. So what do you buy with $300 million? An article in the Hindu News Update Services described it this way:

"As part of the contract, Wipro would be providing application development and maintenance and data integration and migration services to GM."

Whew! I'm sure glad I don't know anyone who does "application development and maintenance". Hey! Wait a minute -- that's my job! So basically, GM wants me to buy their over-priced cars, and in exchange for this, they send my job to India. Outrageous!

How can GM expect people to "buy American" when the company itself doesn't practice what it preaches?

In fairness, GM isn't the only company who does this. Indeed, Wipro has quite an interesting customer list, including a number of "proud to be American" companies. Still, the automakers have been quite vocal in trying to dissuade consumers from purchasing the fruits of foreign labor. Hypocrisy in action. When will people learn?

An Open Letter to My Daughter

Dear [Daddy's Girl],

We spoke with your guidance counselor at school today, and although report cards don't officially come home until tomorrow, she confirmed what we suspected: you got perfect straight-A's. I cannot even begin to express how proud you make me.

I realize that you're taking advanced (GT) classes, and that you're even getting High School credit for some of your courses. To my way of thinking, that makes your 4.0 G.P.A. even more significant.

Although you may find this hard to believe, I can remember what it was to be 14. I know all too well the social pressures teens place on one another, and how frustrating it can be when you're no longer a child, but not quite an adult. That you're able to effectively manage those pressures and grab your own piece of success fills me with tremendous pride, and a certain sense of relief. I also think it foreshadows wonderful things in your future.

As you go forward, I'd like you to keep a few things in mind. Perhaps most importantly is that with precious few exceptions, the real value in education is not necessarily the material you learn. I'll let you in on a little secret: you really won't have to do any algebra when you're an adult. What's more, you'll probably never have to make anything out of poster board unless you're helping your own children with their silly little assignments.

No, the true value of education is not in the facts that you learn, but in the problem-solving skills that the learning process teaches you. It may sound cliche, but what school really teaches you is how to learn, how to seek new information, how to figure out which questions to ask, how to follow somebody else's rules - no matter how silly they might seem, and perhaps most importantly, how to make the most of any situation. These are the skills that are important for life, and proficiency in them is measured by the grades you receive. That you received perfect grades tells me that you've learned how to play the game we call life.

People often feel proud of their children because they believe they are directly responsible for any outstanding results. The simple truth, however, is that there are no schools to teach someone how to be a good parent. Figuring out what works and what doesn't is largely a question of trial and error.

With that in mind, it probably won't surprise to you find out that your father was a little nervous at the prospect of becoming a parent. Then, on the day you were born, I saw a sign hanging on the wall in the maternity ward. I don't remember the exact verbiage, but the message was clear: "If you're nervous because you've never had a baby before, don't worry - your baby has never had a parent before, either!"

While I would happily take credit for all of your successes, I don't think that would be fair. Was it that I taught you valuable life skills that are now key to your success, or was it more likely that you taught me how to be the parent you needed? Indeed, you broke nearly all my preconceived notions of parenting. For example, when you were little, I never really had to spank you. A stern look was all it took for you to understand my disappointment, and you always immediately corrected your behavior. It seemed that disappointing your father was more painful to you than any corporal punishment could have been.

Regardless of why you're successful, the simple truth is that you are, and I'm very proud of you. Keep up the great work!

Love Always,

Dad

People Are Dumb

Apparently, businesses can be dumb, too (ostensibly because they are run by people). Check out this list of the 101 Dumbest Moments in Business for 2005. Some of the items listed are pretty funny, if not obviously bad decisions (painfully so in some cases). A lot of them I already knew; some of them I'd never heard of.

Not Supporting Our Troops

Hang on for the ride - I'm bound to piss some people off with this post.

Joel Stein really got the ire of a lot of people with his Op-Ed piece Warriors and Wusses in the LA Times yesterday in which he expressed his opinion on the War in Iraq, and more specifically, whether or not to support the individual soldiers who are fighting it.

Throughout the article, the message was largely that if you don't agree with the war, you shouldn't feel obligated to support the troops. As if to illustrate this, he points out that "we shouldn't be celebrating people for doing something we don't think was a good idea".

To say these ideas upset people would be a gross understatement. For example, reflective of popular sentiments on the topic, Hugh Hewitt writes:

"As I suspected, Mr. Stein really doesn't know anyone on active duty, hasn't been to any bases or any of the service academies, hasn't met with wounded or returning troops, and generally admits to being blissfully ignorant of the military. He could not recount a single book he has read about the military, and doesn't even know how big it is. He thinks the soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines who have died in the GWOT have died in vain. He does not feel grateful for their service."

Many of the comments left at the LA Times were far less flattering and succint. Nevertheless, when did military service become a precursor to having an opinion as a citizen? Is this man not entitled to have his say? Is he a bad guy for having an unpopular opinion? I don't think so.

Absent military credentials on Mr. Stein's part, I'd like to make a few observations as someone who does happen to have modest military credentials.

People have gotten extremely wrapped up with comparing what's going on now with Vietnam, particularly as it relates to how the troops are treated when they return home. Most people are overlooking some important points, though.

It's important to draw a distinction between the troops in Iraq now and those who fought in Vietnam. In Vietnam, soldiers were drafted. It didn't matter what your opinion was -- if your number came up, you had to go. Today's military is an all-volunteer force. Anyone serving is doing so in consequence of a conscious decision to serve, knowing full well the implications of his or her service. This is even more true for those who joined the service after September 11th.

That said, I certainly do not advocate spitting on troops, booing them, or otherwise using our troops as a venue to express frustration with the current administration. The other side of that, though, is that I also see no reason to arbitrarily be "grateful" or "appreciative". Neither of these things define someone as being a great American.

I remember when I returned from Desert Storm on April 1st, 1991. We landed at Pope Air Force Base, which adjoins Fort Bragg. I walked down the steps from the airplane, and I was met by a large brass band playing some military parade tune, and an even larger gathering of people cheering. We were "heroes", or so I'm told.

What impact did this "hero's welcome" have on me as a soldier? What feelings did it elicit from my little warrior heart? In a word: guilt. That's right, I felt guilty.

I didn't have any family or friends greeting me, but I remember this girl -- a complete stranger -- approached me and asked if anyone was there to welcome me home. I explained that there was nobody there to greet me.

"Well, " she said, "I'm not here to meet anyone in particular, so I'll welcome you home."

And with that, she hugged me.

During all of this, those feelings of guilt persisted. Had I been born a mere 20 years earlier than I was, a similar girl might have greeted me, but in a very different way. Further, I don't feel like we went through anywhere near the horrors experienced by most who fought in Vietnam.

You won't find any of those cheesy magnets on my vehicles. Frankly, I find them distasteful. Instead, I express my gratitude on an individual basis. When I meet a Veteran, I shake his hand, introduce myself, and welcome him home.

If you really want to support the troops, do it at the polls. Elect officials who will not place them in harms way unless it truly is necessary. Vote for people like Senator John McCain who have the proper experience from which to draw when making the decision whether or not to send our sons and daughters into harms way.

To those who will no doubt paint Joel Stein as anti-American, I say get off his back. The right to freely express dissent and unpopular opinions is fundamental to our way of life in this country. Those who would silence him need look no further than the mirror to see someone who is truly un-American.

Hanging it Out There

I've never been good at biting my tongue. In fact, I have this horrible tendency toward being a bit too honest, and letting people know when something bothers me. Sometimes it gets me in trouble.

Years ago, after serving a number of years in the 82nd, I found myself assigned as the S-3 Schools NCOIC for 50th Signal Battalion. Although I was a staff puke riding a desk, I quickly discovered that "you can take the soldier out of the 82nd, but you can't take the 82nd out of the soldier". Even as a young Private in the 82nd I had been encouraged to speak my mind, and be aggressive. Those traits became ingrained in me.

During my tenure at 50th Signal Battalion, we got a new Battalion XO. His name is not important; what's important is that he quickly developed a reputation for being hard-nosed, outspoken, and aggressive. Officers treated him with obsequience, NCO's feared him, and the soldiers, for the most part, tried to avoid him. In the vernacular, this guy would "eat your lunch".

One of this Major's first tasks was to write a new policy. I don't remember exactly what the policy was, except that it really annoyed me. I had discussed it privately with several of the senior NCO's (it's worth mentioning that I was the most junior in rank), and the consensus was unilateral: it was a bad idea.

A few days later, the XO dropped into the office (a big open room with grey government desks neatly lined up in rows). He planted himself in front of my desk, surveyed the room, and began asking people what they thought of the new policy. Response after response either acquiesced to his position, or praised it outright as people withered under his mighty presence.

He nodded thoughtfully while accepting this glowing feedback, then looked me right in the eye and said, "What do you think, Sergeant Mooers?"

Drat! I'm on the spot, and on the hook for an answer. Now, I know I should either agree, or make a polite excuse to not say anything, but I have years of training coupled with my distaste for sycophants working against me.

"Can I speak freely, sir?" I responded.

"Always!" he blurted as if insulted that I would even ask.

"Well, sir, it's the dumbest f*cking thing I've ever seen."

His eyebrows went up in disbelieve, and I decided I had better make a hasty explanation if I wanted to keep my chevrons, so I continued.

"You have to think about what you're doing to the soldiers. Sure, it will make your job easier, but you're really screwing the soldiers down on the line."

The room grew uncharacteristically quiet as those around me waited to watch me be devoured whole by this man. Certainly he would put me in my place -- this young punk who dared question his judgment.

"You know, " he said, "I never thought about it that way, but you're right." Then he actually smiled.

From that point on, my word was gold with this man, and we ultimately became staunch allies if not friends (assuming, of course, that friendship might exist between a field grade officer and an NCO).

Years later, that aggressive honesty came through again, much to the chagrin of my wife, while we were negotiating the purchase of a car from a dealership. We had been haggling for a while, and found ourselves in a bit of a stalemate.

It's pretty common for car salesmen to bring in the "Sales Manager" when they are having a tough time closing the deal. The problem with that, is that I don't respond well to the high pressure sales tactics. I especially don't respond well when I don't like the "Sales Manager".

After negotiating with this guy for 5 minutes or so, I decided I'd had enough.

"You know, " I told him, "we have a problem. We have a personality conflict."

"A personality conflict?" he asked.

"That's right. I don't like you, and I want you to leave. If you don't, I will."

Although my wife was embarrassed, he did leave, and we ended up getting the deal we wanted on the vehicle.

I wish I could say I've never gotten myself into trouble with my, um, "honesty". I wish I could say that, but it wouldn't be true. I've gotten myself into a fair number of jams (and indeed, I may be in one even as I write this), but I guess all's well that ends well. At least I can look at myself in the mirror.

Regardless of whether you agree with my approach, or just think I'm a jerk with no tact, you can be assured that you'll always know exactly where you stand with me, and exactly how I feel. Now please don't ask me if I think you look fat in those pants.

Evolution

Chantay found this on the Internet and it definitely seemed worthy of passing on. Unfortunately, I'm inclined to agree with this assertion.

Wear Sunscreen

I was talking to my mom on the phone this morning, mainly commiserating on everything that's wrong right now (corrupt politicians, a huge deficit, eroding civil rights, etc.) and I was reminded of a phrase from a Baz Lurman song several years ago.

Purportedly, this song came from a commencement address, and has been attributed to a number of different people, including Kurt Vonnegut. Always one to seek the facts, I did a little research and found out that the speech in question was actually not a speech at all. Rather, it was a column written by Mary Schmich for the Chicago Tribune.

Regardless of how her work has been misrepresented over the years, Schmich made some very valid points that bear repeating. With that in mind, I've decided to reproduce the entire text here.

Wear Sunscreen

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97.

Wear Sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year- olds I know still don't. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody's else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.